Day 22- Why am I in Peru?

Four weeks ago, I was in Colorado. People were asking me why I was going to Peru and what I’d be doing for the eleven months that I was there. I would say, “Oh, I’m going to be a short term missionary: discipling girls, leading a bible study, counseling at camps, etc.” I initially thought my goal for this year in Peru was to be a blessing to those in the church that I’m working with. All of my answers had to do with me and what I was going to be doing in the lives of the Peruvians. Well now I’ve been in Lima for three weeks. I no longer think I’m here to change lives. I think I’m here for God to change mine. My reason for being on earth is to bring glory to God. My life should constantly be pointing to Him. However, in order to be able to disciple others in their walk with God, I must first evaluate my own relationship with Him. I can’t lead anyone further than I myself am.  This week in our classes we’ve been looking at the “missions statement” of Paul. In many of his epistles he tells the believers that he wants them to imitate him. As we looked deeper into the epistles, we saw that Paul wasn’t saying that he wanted the believers to imitate his human qualities. Rather, Paul was imitating Christ. Therefore, he wanted the believers to imitate his Christ-like qualities. If the believers were imitating Paul they would result in imitating Christ. That got me thinking…Why am I in Peru? I’m not in Peru to make my friends back home think I’m spiritual. I’m not in Peru to be seen as the amazing gringo from the states. I’m not in Peru to draw attention to myself. I am in Peru to bring glory to Christ and to let Him use me in spreading the news of his saving work on the cross. But I can’t do that if I’m constantly thinking of how this year of my life will look when I tell people in the future. I can’t bring glory to Christ if I’m seeking all the attention as a young white girl from North America. The only way I can glorify God this year is if I give up my prideful attitude and let him guide me this year.  Now I know that this year, God is going to shape me, smash me down, mold me again, over and over until I am his true vessel. I can't form my own shape. He is the potter. The only way I can be a blessing to the people here is if I am in my rightful, humble place with God. Only then will He use me to disciple the girls or encourage the members of the church. I think that's the purpose of my year here: to let him shape me. Hopefully I'll be able to be an encouragement to the church, but I don't think that's my main purpose. Not until I get my own heart right.